Fret wear is influenced far more by playing style, fret material, setup, bending pressure and how often you play than by string material alone.
The same is true when comparing nickel-plated steel and pure nickel. Nickel-plated steel is slightly harder than pure nickel, but many players use nickel-plated strings for years without unusual fret wear, especially on guitars with modern fret materials.
For guitar and bass, choose your string material for the tone and feel you want.